Thursday, April 21, 2011

"I've Eaten More Queens than Lancelot!"

When I grow up, I want to be an Italian mobster.

What? My middle school always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be.

True, they probably didn't have this in mind...

...and yes, I'm not Italian... but whatever!

Recently, I've been renting and watching a lot of "The Sopranos." I'm barely on volume two of the first season, but it's turning out to be very entertaining. It's burned a hole through the vampire-magic-mystery stuff I usually watch, which has been very, very enlightening. Not to mention, for a very forward idea, it is extremely subtle.

For example, in the first season, there's this episode where Carmela Soprano and the Priest are both alone in the house. It gets very psychological; exploring Carmela's distance from her Mob Boss husband and her regret, guilt and repentance over said husband's job, whilst simultaneously showing her and the priest's mutual attraction. Then, instead of acting on that passion and unresolved sexual tension, the priest decides to have her confess and then gives her communion.

People, that is the most sexually charged communion I have ever seen, off or on screen. (Although, off screen, a sexually charged communion would be pretty goddamn awkward.) Not to mention, the whole communion deal was a thinly disguised metaphor for sex. I have to give the writers their fucking props... it was so fucking interesting, not to mention ironic, that they would give such a holy aspect that edge of sex and attraction. Shit, the church should be getting pissed over this, instead of "Judas."

-> Yes, I know, this show is old, but I don't remember anything being said over it, while the church gets all bitchy over Lady Gaga acting out a scene from the bible (not offending anyone) this got away? Really, now.

But truthfully, this show is fucking awesome. It lacks that random sex that every other HBO television show has. You know, those random sex scenes that exist in every fucking episode and have absolutely no point? Like:

Janie: Omg, my grandma died!
Danny: She did?
Danny: That sucks.
Janie: You want to have sex now?

---Cue ten minutes of softcore porn---

Seriously. True Blood, anyone? Sookie and Bill sleep together the day her grandmother dies. I'm sorry, that's just fucking tacky.

But "The Sopranos" lacks this (or at least it isn't as tacky) and it does the show a fucking service. Because it is fucking awesome. "The Sopranos" is what new TV should try to be! None of this fucking Jersey Shore, reality TV shit.

Reality TV is killing pop culture.

Speaking of the death of Pop Culture, tomorrow is Friday!!

-Friday, Friday, Gotta get down on Friday! Don't forget people! Before Friday, comes Thursday, Then comes Friday, Then Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards!-

Someone has to help that bitch find a seat. Seriously.

If I could upload audio, I would add a snippet of me singing that atrocity. I would say butchering it, but it does a pretty good job of butchering itself- it does not need my help. In fact, I think my singing would make it better, and that's saying something!

On other news, I'm going to Little Tokyo tomorrow. I'm looking forward to cheap Pocky. And, I'm impatiently awaiting the Judas video, coming out sometime soon. For some reason I cannot find a set date for it. But i'm waiting, nonetheless. Also: check out my post on Lady Gaga- I did not get a chance to shamelessly promote it anywhere. Once again, let me know of you know every artist I mention in it. Click Here.

Speaking of impatiently waiting, I'm also waiting for Keys' newest mixtape to drop (Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves), since she is now my favorite female rapper. For those who don't know, Keys The Problem is that rapper from Baltimore who famously dissed Nicki Minaj for her idiotic "barbie" image and stupid ass elementary-school rhymes. She's fucking awesome. (I provided the link, btw.) I've been consoling myself by listening to her first mixtape and the Roman's Revenge remix she made with A. Tamaris - both which are really good. Also, for those of you who like JStar, listen to "I Hate Music." It's the B-Side to "Heart Surgery (Isn't That Bad)"

Okay, before I go I log off, my song of the week (because I actually have time to think of one today) is Judas (big surprise) for the sole reason that I really like the beat during the bridge. That, and I'm waiting for the music video. If you have not listened to it, you should. It's so industrial.

With that, my possibly non-existent readers, I take my leave.

(You guys should show me that you do exist, and comment.)



  1. Wow religion and sex together.. Ihave to start watching this. It was Lady Gaga who got me hooked on the combo with Alejandro and now Judas. (She does love naming songs after men!)

    And don't dis True Blood. That is the best program I have ever watched hands down!

    And another Pocky fan here ^^
    They make me want to LIVE in Japan :P

  2. I'm not dissing True Blood! It's just that you have to admit the sex scenes are like the randomest in existence.

    Lol! Me too!! I love Pocky, but it's fucking expesive! Like 2 bucks a box! -_-

    Have you tried Mochi?