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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Old Review on "Twatlight"

So today, while on the bus, I had a conversation with my friend, concerning the horrors of the popular monstrosity knows as "Twilight," and the benefits to having Stephanie Meyer imprisoned for gross crimes against humanity.

I told her, I would show her the review I wrote a few years back... so here it is (This is for you, A!)

Review:

Name of Book: Twilight
Name of Author: Stephanie Meyer
Give your personal opinion of why or why not you liked the book: No. Just.....No.
This "novel" is one of the worst I've EVER read. Calling Meyer's writing "purple prose" is an insult to the actual color. She portrays, nay, glamorizes, an abusive relationship with bland predictable characters. The main character, Bella, is an overwhelming "Mary Sue" with a few "Mary Sue" faults thrown in to make her seem real. As a long-time fan of vampires, this "novel" depresses me. As a potential novelist, Twilight just enforces my theory that publishers aren't even looking for talented writers anymore. Meyer's use of repetition is annoying and the plot is cliche and overused. Edward and Bella's "love"is shown as nothing more than infatuation and obsession, seeing as he's practically stalking her and watching her sleep. Meyer gives no reason as to why her vampires do anything, seeing as they're indestructible and for some unknown (i.e. asinine, idiotic) reason they sparkle. This should have never been published and Twilight makes it clear that Stephanie Meyer should take various writing courses, because she cannot write, best-seller or no best seller.
Would you recommend this book to your friend? Why or why not?: No, I would not recommend this to ANY of my friends. Someone has to care about their brain cells, seeing as Meyer does not.

There. Done. Haha!

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