A Series of Unfortunate Names

Why is it that politicians always have unfortunate names?

I mean, look at Anthony Wiener. I know it's immature, but seriously, school must have been horrible for him! (Mildly amusing to outright hilarious for everyone else, though.) To be honest, I don't actively follow politics, since it's all fucking stupid and just depresses me. Thus, I keep in touch with the asinine world of politics through the Facebook wall of a really good friend of mine. (You know who you are. :P)

And I swear, the things I find out about (through my friend's Facebook wall), are fucking disgusting.

Like Ryan Fattman's (Another unfortunate name, yet I refuse to feel sorry for the little shit) stance advocating rape. Read the proof that stupidity should be punished here. This dumb-ass mother-fucker. Basically, his belief is that undocumented women should be afraid of reporting any type of abuse, be it physical, sexual or mental, for the sole reason that they are in this country illegally.

Way to shit all over basic human rights, Fattman. While you're at it, you might want to purchase a nice blood diamond? Maybe a shirt made by a three-year-old child laborer in China? They'd go great along with the huge hole where your human decency should be.

This is not even an issue concerning illegal immigration, I mean, not really. This is just Fattman's thinly veiled contempt for women seeking a target, that sick little misogynist. What he's really saying is that if you're going to do something sick and illegal (rape, murder, physical attack) do it to someone who is illegal, 'cause they can't say anything. Talk about scapegoating; I wonder, is this what Hitler said about the Jews during the WWII era? Seriously, who the fuck says that? Every women should be able to seek help from law officials in the face of any type of abuse, regardless of their immigration status. Idiots like Fattman make the human race look bad.

So back to unfortunate names, and Anthony Wiener, isn't his scandal terrible ironic? This whole thing over semi-covered pictures of his dick and his name being Wiener? I know! I know! So immature! I'm a horrible, immature person- but it's hilarious! The irony is down right hilarious! Excluding his questionable morality (Dude, a seventeen-year-old, really?) this whole thing, what I hear of it, anyway, is totally hilarious.

This brings me to Rick Santorum.

This one maybe the worst of the lot, to be honest. And it's not what his name is, but what Dan Savage turned his name into. His name means literally, in slang terms, shit-mix.

Let me elaborate.

Rick Santorum is homophobic and therefore extremely anti-gay, saying that sexual acts between people who happen to be of the same-sex "undermine the basic tenets of [his] society and the family." He said that homosexuals don't have the Constitutional right to privacy with respect to their sexual practices, and they should be regulated just like child molesters and zoophiles are.

(Random Fact: Did you know that Bestiality wasn't illegal in Washington up until 2006? See: Kenneth Pinyan.)

Anyway, in response to the stupid, annoying pseudo-morality spewed by Santorum, columnist Dan Savage started this campaign to come up with a new meaning for "santorum" in opposition to Rick's stupid comments. So thus, a new meaning for "santorum" was born. It is now: "the frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex."

Using it in a sentence: "There's santorum on the condom! Ew!"

Personally, I find it hilarious! (I'm using the word "Hilarious" way to much.)

(Random Fact #2: Dan Savage also coined the term "pegging.")

It must suck to be a politician with an unfortunate name. Sometimes your parents are at fault (Wiener, I'm looking at you) other times, you bring upon your own dumb-ass self (Santorum.)

Regardless, it is hilariously entertaining to make fun of them.

P.S: Sorry about not blogging for like a year, then bringing you politics (even worse-republicans.) Next time will be something pop culture-y (Lady Gaga!) or something about me!

:)

"I've Eaten More Queens than Lancelot!"

When I grow up, I want to be an Italian mobster.

What? My middle school always told me I could be whatever I wanted to be.

True, they probably didn't have this in mind...

...and yes, I'm not Italian... but whatever!

Recently, I've been renting and watching a lot of "The Sopranos." I'm barely on volume two of the first season, but it's turning out to be very entertaining. It's burned a hole through the vampire-magic-mystery stuff I usually watch, which has been very, very enlightening. Not to mention, for a very forward idea, it is extremely subtle.

For example, in the first season, there's this episode where Carmela Soprano and the Priest are both alone in the house. It gets very psychological; exploring Carmela's distance from her Mob Boss husband and her regret, guilt and repentance over said husband's job, whilst simultaneously showing her and the priest's mutual attraction. Then, instead of acting on that passion and unresolved sexual tension, the priest decides to have her confess and then gives her communion.

People, that is the most sexually charged communion I have ever seen, off or on screen. (Although, off screen, a sexually charged communion would be pretty goddamn awkward.) Not to mention, the whole communion deal was a thinly disguised metaphor for sex. I have to give the writers their fucking props... it was so fucking interesting, not to mention ironic, that they would give such a holy aspect that edge of sex and attraction. Shit, the church should be getting pissed over this, instead of "Judas."

-> Yes, I know, this show is old, but I don't remember anything being said over it, while the church gets all bitchy over Lady Gaga acting out a scene from the bible (not offending anyone) this got away? Really, now.

But truthfully, this show is fucking awesome. It lacks that random sex that every other HBO television show has. You know, those random sex scenes that exist in every fucking episode and have absolutely no point? Like:

Janie: Omg, my grandma died!

Danny: She did?

*Hugs*

Danny: That sucks.

Janie: You want to have sex now?

---Cue ten minutes of softcore porn---

Seriously. True Blood, anyone? Sookie and Bill sleep together the day her grandmother dies. I'm sorry, that's just fucking tacky.

But "The Sopranos" lacks this (or at least it isn't as tacky) and it does the show a fucking service. Because it is fucking awesome. "The Sopranos" is what new TV should try to be! None of this fucking Jersey Shore, reality TV shit.

Reality TV is killing pop culture.

Speaking of the death of Pop Culture, tomorrow is Friday!!

-Friday, Friday, Gotta get down on Friday! Don't forget people! Before Friday, comes Thursday, Then comes Friday, Then Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards!-

Someone has to help that bitch find a seat. Seriously.

If I could upload audio, I would add a snippet of me singing that atrocity. I would say butchering it, but it does a pretty good job of butchering itself- it does not need my help. In fact, I think my singing would make it better, and that's saying something!

On other news, I'm going to Little Tokyo tomorrow. I'm looking forward to cheap Pocky. And, I'm impatiently awaiting the Judas video, coming out sometime soon. For some reason I cannot find a set date for it. But i'm waiting, nonetheless. Also: check out my post on Lady Gaga- I did not get a chance to shamelessly promote it anywhere. Once again, let me know of you know every artist I mention in it. Click Here.

Speaking of impatiently waiting, I'm also waiting for Keys' newest mixtape to drop (Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves), since she is now my favorite female rapper. For those who don't know, Keys The Problem is that rapper from Baltimore who famously dissed Nicki Minaj for her idiotic "barbie" image and stupid ass elementary-school rhymes. She's fucking awesome. (I provided the link, btw.) I've been consoling myself by listening to her first mixtape and the Roman's Revenge remix she made with A. Tamaris - both which are really good. Also, for those of you who like JStar, listen to "I Hate Music." It's the B-Side to "Heart Surgery (Isn't That Bad)"

Okay, before I go I log off, my song of the week (because I actually have time to think of one today) is Judas (big surprise) for the sole reason that I really like the beat during the bridge. That, and I'm waiting for the music video. If you have not listened to it, you should. It's so industrial.

With that, my possibly non-existent readers, I take my leave.

(You guys should show me that you do exist, and comment.)

:D

The Fame Monster

Okay, I know that I haven't blogged in a while and then to have my most recent post be about Lady Gaga... hmmm...

I was about to apologize. But then I realized I don't give a shit. Get over it or stop reading.

Anyway, back to Lady Gaga. People are bitching and moaning about her new sound being too industrial and too much like techno and they wish she could return to "The Fame" style of music.

Did anyone see anything wrong with that sentence? They wish she could return to "The Fame" style of music. Anyanka, get 'em.

(If anyone gets that reference, please tell me. It would be refreshing to know that pop culture isn't completely dead.)

Why the fuck would you want Lady Gaga to return to "The Fame"? In my not-so-humble opinion, "The Fame" was her worst album! Not to say it was bad, just compared with "The Fame Monster" and what we've heard from "Born This Way" it just doesn't compete. It annoys me when people say they want "the old Gaga back." I'm really not sure why people would want her to stay in that on little hole for the rest of her career! She's an innovator- she's breathed life into the pop game and wanting her to stay in that one little niche is like telling her to start selling canned music and stay exactly the same forever. I'm sorry, that would get fucking boring as hell. If she had stayed and continued with those ideals, the same people bitching now will bitch about her lack of creativity and such.

Me? Personally, I loved "Born This Way" and "Judas." The meanings behind those songs, and the sounds, really emphasize the overall theme of freedom, the theme that we're expecting for the album.

Also, on the cover: Get the fuck over it. It's fucking hilarious and memorable. Why would you want it "more elaborate"? Do you want her dressed like a gazelle? Did you want her with glitter and vomit down the majority of her outfit? Blueberry boobs? Whips and chains? Butcher knives and black vinyl stilettos? Speaking with a British accent? Wearing a tacky, ghetto version of her "LoveGame" video costumes? What! Gosh...

(Also, if someone can name all the artists I just referenced... that would be awesome. LOL)

Okay, I'm gone.

I'll try to blog later. : )

Thou Shalt Not

Oh my fucking gosh. I have not blogged in ages! Literally, since the month of February (and if I had waited until tomorrow, the month of March, too.)

Well not much has happened. I've had class and homework. I finished midterms the other day, in which I did pretty decently: an A and a B on the World Lit take home and in-class essays, respectively, most likely a C in Anthropology (crossing fingers), not-a-fail in math, and hopefully-not-a-fail in Bible as Literature. Yup. My grades are slipping- I need to keep up, before I get buried in the inevitable avalanche.

On the bright side, however, I finished the first, albeit painful, draft of my play. (Applause may commence.)

Today, it is a holiday- Cesar Chavez Day. I was not aware this was a school-recognized holiday, since I was trapped in year-round hell for twelve years before college, and it is a nice experience. I did not have to read, I did not have to write, I did not have to think! Which truthfully, to me, who tends to over-think issues in general, is a tremendous relief. Everything has just been so mentally exhausting that it's nice to have a break. I look forward to spending the rest of the day staring absent-mindedly at my computer screen watching old episodes of Roseanne, The Nanny, or random anime from my childhood. Nothing like mind-numbing tv shows to emphasize the act of doing absolutely nothing.

I've also been catching up with my circle of friends, whom I have neglected during my reign as Hermit of L.A. To be honest, some friends were busy with their own stuff. For example, I had two friends acting in a play (one killed herself, the other was a total bitch), I've had two looking for work/new place to live, and I had my bestie at a prestigious ivy league school working her heart out. I hadn't talked to her in weeks!

Which reminds me: Is it weird that, as friends, we have rules we cannot break? For example, I cannot become a Vegan (It's already bad that I'm a vegetarian) and she cannot become a Christian (not that she ever would). Is that weird? 'Cause truthfully, it makes sense to us.

But to be honest, we are pretty insane, so forget I asked.

Anyway, just this quick recap. I have stuff to do. Like veg out in front of my computer screen.

:D

Music is my hot, hot sex!

My taste in music is really strange. I sometimes don't understand it myself. I can go from listening to some type of European club music to Cradle of Filth to Lady Gaga and then finish it off with No Doubt.

I really don't understand it.

For example, I just downloaded a Benny Benassi song that Cougar made me listen to, and that I liked. And yesterday, I downloaded a couple of Cradle of Filth songs, including The Cult of Venus Aversa and Forgive me Father (I Have Sinned)- both black metal songs I really like.

(Speaking of Cradle of Filth, you people must listen to Darkly, Darkly, Venus Aversa. I absolutely loved Lillith Immaculate! Go listen!!)

The "Top Rated" playlist on my iPod includes a messy compilation of Daft Punk, Leftover Crack, Silversun Pickups, Depeche Mode, Garbage, Led Zeppelin, JStar, Queen and Simian Mobile Disco among many, many others. "Recently Added" holds Lady Gaga, Cradle of Filth, and White Rose Movement. For some reason, though, it tends to mesh with me, if I do say so myself.

People don't expect me not to like the type of music they expect me to. It's weird.

Not to mention I tend to get criticized for my musical tastes: for example, one of my cousins (I love him despite this- haha!) would always criticize my love for No Doubt on the sole basis that it was No Doubt. He would continue to say that I should like a band like Metallica and not No Doubt. I would then give him one of my patented "STFUandGTFO" glares and challenged him to name a Metallica album that isn't Ride the Lightening or Metallica. The first time this happened he looked at me in shock an asked: "There's an album called Metallica?" I had officially succeeded in making him feel stupid. The times after that (yes, he continued to do this) when I made him feel stupid, he would just shake his head say "You're an asshole/dick" depending on the day, and walk away.

I would just respond with a annoyed "You've known me... how long?"

Yes, I am very defensive of my musical tastes. Never figured out why. Truthfully, up until recently, there was no type of music (or artist) I hated. The dislike started when the Disney Devil Spawn began to auto-tune their horrendous screeching and marketing it to young and impressionable Tweens. The hatred twisted when the eternal twelve year old, Justin Beiber, began his plight for fame. Then the hatred reached a pinnacle when Nicki Minaj whored out her made up words and nursery-style rhymes, shaking her pink-Jeffree-Star-styled-cotton-candy hair and plastic appendages and "rocked" her tacky, cheap, copied style.

Apparently this hatred is not applicable to any particular genre or style. It picks and chooses whoever it wishes to abhor.

*Sigh*

Btw: The title is from a song by CSS (Cansei De ser Sexy) a Brazilian band that me and Coug are particularly partial to. It's from their debut album. Listen to it! NOW!

Ghosts, Tarot Cards and Sarah Palin

Well, I'm alive. Seriously, not a ghost- my blood is pumping as a result of my heart beating, which means I'm existing as a normal, live human being. Or at least a live human being (normal is too strong a word and not applicable.)

It is The End of February as we know it. And it will lead to the start of March and the birthdays of various people that I know, because for some reason, my mother and the rest of the world decided to have their birthdays in March. So I have lots of "Happy Birthdays" to give out, lots of cards to buy and a present for my mother. Lol!

I also started school about three weeks ago. I love my classes! My World Lit class is fucking awesome- I cannot believe I was considering dropping it! Despite the fact that we're reading the Romantic poets and it's forcing a Decathlon revival (which has it's up and down moments), I still love it. I'm also enjoying Bible as Lit and all the sex in that particular Holy text. It's fun. *Grin* Playwriting is coming along- I'm having plot issues! But I'm plowing through and my play isn't totally sucking; I just need to fix some discrepancies. Math is coming along, and surprisingly easy- at least at this point. But I'm confident in my mathematical ability (for once) and I'm sure I will pass the class. The Anthropology of Religion and Witchcraft is coming along, although I'm severely behind- I need to read this weekend.

Tomorrow I start reading this book on the Tarot- my new project. I had decided to learn to use and read them some time ago, and now I ordered, paid for, and received them (a beautiful version of the Rider Waite, for anyone interested) and am really excited to start. I haven't actually done any readings, since I don't completely understand the cards and their meanings, and I don't want to mess with anything I don't really understand (at least spiritually, anyway.) I can't wait until I start, though! : D

So current events... Well President's Day happened, and I celebrated like I always do- I sacrificed a baby cow and danced in the moonlight covered in blood and waving a huge stick around, in honor of George Washington.

Okay, so I really didn't do that, but that would've been abnormally hilarious! Hahahaha! And besides, I can't sacrifice small animals- I'm a vegetarian. Yes, I'm that rarity- a fat vegetarian. Lol! We happen! It's possible!

Speaking of fat, according to Rush Limbaugh, Michelle Obama's weight is a source for criticism. Supposedly this is only the latest in a long string of jokes about out First Lady, in which conservatives attack her and her anti-obesity campaign. I was not aware that conservatives hated children and wanted them to get diabetes and die. Seriously, Rush has no room to criticize unless he's a male model, or anorexic- and it is pretty obvious that he is neither, as far as I know. There's the possibility that the fashion world has lowered it's standards. The article also mentioned Sarah Palin, and at that point the whole thing became a joke to me and I laughed at her expense.

For me, reality stars are among the lowest form of life on this planet, and failed reality stars, such as Palin, are even lower. It's ridiculously hilarious- just like her chances at becoming President. I have no interest in what she has to say (unless it's particularly funny) and I don't really care about her opinion. She needs to go away. Not make reality shows. Seriously.

On other news, Lady Gaga won three Grammys: Best Pop Vocal Album, Best Short Form Music Video and Best Female Pop Vocal Performance. She also released Born This Way, which has been number one on iTunes since it's release- which is pretty good. This is included for no other reason than "because I could."

Okay, now back to me. I'm writing a play- a love story. Yes. Laugh. Laugh all you want! I can write romance... kind of. Thankfully it's a comedy, so I can wing it. Lol! I also have two essays due, and I need to start reading and writing, ASAP. I want to get straight A's this semester- which I know is possible! I also have to carry around a Bible. Bleh. People look at me as if I'm religious- and I'm thinking about dressing goth-ish and wearing pentacles all over me every Tuesday to dilute the effect. I don't like it.

What should I do my World Lit research paper on? I've been thinking about one of the Romantic poets (Coleridge or Blake, possibly Byron, if I can) or maybe on Pope's Rape of the Lock. Yes. I am asking your opinion- I cannot make up my mind.

Thanks for reading! : ) I appreciate it.

Seriously.

Born This Way!!

It's almost 2 AM so I'm making this short. I loved it. I will buying it as soon as it is available on iTunes. : )

Listen: Born This Way by Lady Gaga

Have fun!! Lol!