Ugh.
This is all I can say.
For the past four months or so that I've been in session, any type of creative writing I have done has been in play-form. It has been thought of, executed, perfected, and then re-written in theatrical style. Ignoring the theatre-formula all plays are written in, as a writer (or at least for me) you have to force yourself to think in theatrical way: anything you do must absolutely work on stage. Every action, every word, every little nuance must be performable and doable by an actor performing your work.
It was a harsh and annoying change.
However, it was a change I adapted wholeheartedly to. I changed my creative style and thinking to suit the needs of the theatrical, of which I did a pretty good job, in my not-so humble opinion. I actually like writing in that manner, thinking of how an actor would execute a character's action or movement.
But now, having been freed from school, I have a problem. A huge one. A problem of monumental proportions, that I, in my nineteen years of existence, have ever run across.
How the hell to I change back?
Very recently, my muses paid me a surprise visit, bitch-slapping me with the force of a thousand ideas and I wrote like a man possessed. I wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote, researching and meticulously creating this new world I was going to play in, and then, when it came to actually executing the action, making everything happen, pulling out my miracle bag and throwing it in there, I look over to my work and... it sucks.
And it's not the idea itself. At least I hope to the goddess it isn't the idea.
It's the writing. I read over what was supposed to be my first chapter of this new and shiny work I came up with and it reads like a badly written script! I did what I could, but I realized- it's not the writing itself. The writing could work as a script it I adapted it to the proper formula. Idea as a script could totally work.
The problem is that the work is, in fact, not a script. It is a novel, and I would like it to stay that way, thank-you-very-much!
I don't know how to switch from playwright-style to novelist-style! This is not in my handbook! In fact, I don't have a handbook! They never gave me one! I just don't know what to do! I know, it's all me and I should be able to do something, but I can't! It just doesn't work. Apparently I have two modes now, playwright and poet, and neither are interested cooperating with me. What do you do when you're own creative instinct is working against you? Is it supposed to do that? And it's not like I could grab a bat and beat it into submission (although I wish I could!) and just... ugh!
There should be some type of marker for this. This is self-help book moment, dammit! I need help!
*Sigh*
I'm hoping that with enough writing it'll go away, but I don't know...
Anyway, I'm going back to the old grindstone. Only in this case, it's a pen and it's stabbing the fuck out of me.
